I just love this piece from news 24 so i thought i would share it.

What a royal disappointment you lot are. Who the hell do you think you are to host a successful World Cup? I don’t know why you are busy patting yourselves in the back and walking around with your chests out. You were supposed to fail and you didn’t. When it comes to being a failure, you failed. What you did during the World Cup was under-whelming. You were meant to make the most embarrassing spectacle of yourselves, but oh no, not you, you decided you were above that. What were you thinking?

You had no business hosting a successful tournament at all; worse, this was the third most attended in history after the American and German World Cups. The stadiums were meant to be empty because you lot are poor and can’t afford tickets. In fact, the foreigners were meant to be too afraid to come visit this country. It is a wonder that so many people decided to make the trip over here after all the stories that were in British newspapers and South Africa’s tenth province, Australia.

How can you not embarrass yourselves like this? You are meant to be the most notoriously criminal country on the face of the planet, perhaps even the universe. How come you guys didn’t commit as many crime as possible? Have you become sissies? Are you bunch losing your touch? Do you have any idea how much time and effort was used to paint you as the scariest people on God’s green earth? Many were watching with baited breath to see the great disaster that would be 2010 South African World Cup. Do you have any idea how disappointing it is not to be able to say, “I told you so”?

The world’s headlines weren’t meant to be glowing with what a friendly people you are but they did. When foreigners went to the townships they were meant to come back dead if not robbed of everything they had with them, but alas, they went there and wanted to go back again and again. Not only that, but they are telling their friends in their countries right now that they ought to visit the country! Did you not get the brief? Do you know how many ex South Africans had told these tourists that they were making a mistake by coming to South Africa?

It’s been just over a week since the tournament was hosted in this country and the world’s press and the people of the world don’t have a bad word to say about this country. What went wrong? There should be a commission of inquiry to rectify the lack of atrocities and embarrassing behaviour. Phillip came and left without incident.

It was surprising that the stadiums were completed in the first place, but to host the best tournament the world has seen was not meant to happen. And good heavens, you even introduced that damn vuvuzela. It is so irresistible that the whole earth seems to want to adopt it. (Hold on for a second while I blow mine). Alright, where was I? Oh yes, the vuvuzela.

It is also profoundly disappointing that there were no race riots. You were meant to kill each other after Eugene Terre’blanche was killed. As it turns out, it looks like you lot like touching each other on your studios.

You were not supposed to be amazing. Not only did you put your best foot forward, you put your best selves forward. You disappointed a lot of former South Africans who bad-mouthed the country in their adopted countries. Worse, the display of unity and pride in your nation has caused these people to want to come back.

It appears now that South Africa’s dirty little secret is out. It is a great country filled with a proud people who get their hands dirty to make the best of what they have. We showed the world the better angels of our nature. Many say that it was the spirit of the world cup. It was not the spirit of the World Cup. It was the spirit of South Africans.

After this no one can doubt that you can do anything. How you managed to be so incredible after four years of naysayers saying that there was a plan B that you were behind schedule even though you were ahead of Germany – despite the strikes in between. I gotta hand it to you South Africans, you are a resilient lot. All the prophecies fell flat, well, except for one; Bafana really didn’t make it through to the next round. But outside that you really proved that South Africa is alive with possibilities.

I used to be a bit of party animal, although these days I am pretty much the exact opposite.

The bush however, was a sanctuary from all that, as indeed was the deserts and other wilderness areas I have spent time in, and generally speaking, when I am and was in these areas it is a case of early to bed and early to rise with maybe a couple of cold beers on a hot day.

There have been very few exceptions along the way, but on those exceptions the term ‘Wild’ can definitely be applied.

One weekend that comes immediately to mind was back in the early nineties, about 1991/92 at Mabula Game reserve which is about two hours north of Johannesburg near Pela Pela, a town that used to be called Warmbaths, and a further half an hour west from there.

I had been seeing one of the girls who used to do the marketing for Mabula…or was it in HR, I can’t remember.

Anyway, she had arranged for a party of people to visit for the weekend and I was invited on a freebie, staying over in what I believe was Gary Baileys lodge (the ex Man United Goalkeeper).

In perfect weather we arrived and settled in for a weekend of fun, starting off with a long swim followed by a game of water volley ball in stunning surroundings.

The lodge bar was open and before we had left the pool the drinks started coming in the form of fancy cocktails with fruit and little umbrellas!

I would guess that we were on our third cocktail by the time several of us decided to walk down through the camp to a viewing boma that overlooked a fairly large waterhole (maybe fifty metres long in a kidney shape).

On arriving the girl who worked there decided that it would be fine for us all to leave the boma and take a walk around the entire waterhole. I think she had done it before regularly with the resident ranger, and knowing there no lion or elephant around it seemed acceptable.

So off we went in single file, about seven of us I think. I was last with another girl in front of me who was on holiday from London. Three or four of us, including myself were walking around with our cocktails in hand, I clearly remember that mine was a pinkish drink with guava and a colourful little cocktail umbrella.

The walk was lovely and we all having a good laugh as we rounded the far end of the waterhole, no doubt the alcohol was taking its effect on everyone and the chirping was hilarious.

I guess we must have been about seventy metres or so away from the boma as we were returning with the water on our right hand side when suddenly I noticed movement in front of me and very slightly to my right.
In a flash a huge crocodile mouth swung up and to its right as it tried to bite the leg of the girl in front of me as she took a step past it.

Everyone had simply walked past the sleeping croc just a metre to its right without having a clue that it was even there!! Obviously, in retrospect, the croc had been disturbed and by the time the girl in front of me walked by (the sixth in line) it had had enough and lashed out.

The girl was so lucky, as her right foot came up to take the step forward the croc swung and snapped his jaws shut missing her shin by a just couple of centimetres!!

Lucky indeed, but now I am left standing holding this stupid pink drink with its colourful umbrella just two metres in front of an angry croc…with nowhere to go!!!

I remember when i was a kid the days after christmas when the house decorations came down…the house looked so bare and dull for days afterwards, i am reminded by the aftermath of the world cup here in SA.

I am quite sure the whole nation has been feeling something akin to that for the past couple of weeks…withdrawal symtoms i hear some people saying!

Quite right too. I have watched every final bar one since, and including the 1962 final, and as far as i am concerned the 2010 tournament was as good if not better than any that has gone before. I am quite sure that the atmosphere that carried on throughout the whole month was unsurpassed.

The one big negative for me was the non use of technology. Ghana have the most to be unhappy about, they were clearly and blatantly cheated and robbed. England, who did not really deserve the ‘rub of the green’, were also robbed.

It is a ridiculous situation, and i was very happy to hear that Sepp Blatter, the president of FIFA, stated that it was obviously a mistake and will be rectified (or words to that effect).

Now we see that it is not even being discussed by FIFA. Shameful!!

One thing is abundantly clear, Blatter is merely a puppet president.

The only thing they should be discussing is how quickly they can implement the technology.

I can think of only one single reason why it should not be introduced. This argument of theirs that they want to retain the human element in the game is a nonsense, there will always be 22 players and at least 3 referees…there is 25 humans for them straight away!..not to mention the thousands of fans who pay for everything.

Someone at FIFA, or someone who controls FIFA is making shedloads of cash, that is surely the sad but undeniable truth of the matter.

Technology would not only stop teams like Ghana being cheated it would also stop all this drama queen playacting by the players, it would stop players going in with their elbows and hacking better players than themselves, and a few after match citations would clean the whole game up in no time at all.

Mind you, i do have a good laugh when i see these pathetic players going down as if they been shot through the heart when another player touches them near the penalty area. The same player will then get up , score a goal maybe and have his entire team jump on top of him. The same player will then emerge from beneath the ruck to run up to the fans waving his arms in self adulation with no ill effects whatsoever from being mobbed.

Eeish!!…i’m off to the bush for a bit of sanity!!